just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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