What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
