Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
