Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
