booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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