My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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