I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i out mim tonsoeep
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