i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
