if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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