he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
organizing the empties. That sober.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
