You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize