Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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