wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He has the fingertips of a God
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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