Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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