she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
