my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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