Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
