You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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