so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
