I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is Oprah even human
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
