Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Randomize
