Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
