never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
