a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
