i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
