hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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