How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bring me that man meat
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you never un-have a 4some
Ladies don't puke and tell
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
