I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this just has baby written all over it
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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