Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
