I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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