She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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