I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
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My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize