Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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