I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
