you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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Someone shattered a urinal.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
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i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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