I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
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I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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