I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize