love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You are the jesus of drinking
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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