All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Randomize
