normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
