dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
