Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize