Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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