he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
