"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
