Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh god it's open bar.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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