They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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