I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
