was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
