The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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