ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
