A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
