Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
