i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize