to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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