Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
