We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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