we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
