dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
