clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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