He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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