Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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