I just threw up on my dentist
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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